Truly Maddening
by blue dream
Summary: Heero is going insane while Duo and the others try to help him by making him forget. But are they sure that this is what Heero wants? Pairings: one sided H+2, one sided 2+1, 1+R


Truly Maddening  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or any of its character. Don't sue me plz? *big shining eyes*  
  
Author's notes: Again with the english errors o_o... I'm kinda stuck here. I dunno if I should do another Duo pov one or skip to the next important event? Oh, and the present and past tense thingy is so confusing ^^'''.  
  
  
  
"Relena" Heero softly breathed out, tasting its sound in his mouth, savouring the feelings that came with it.(blue dream: I know, this is weird. I dunno *shrugs*) Sitting curled against a wall with his cobalt eyes glazed, Heero absentmindely touched his chest. There hidden under the layers of fabric rested the pendant Relena gave him just as the war ended as a token of peace, love and hope.  
  
"Yes, Heero?"  
  
Heero stared at the figure in front of him. His eyes widening in surprise. Could it be?  
  
It was her ... Relena.  
  
"Are you okay Heero? You look a little pale. I know, we should go to that Italian restaurant tonight. I feel like celebrating. I bet that'll cheer you up, right Heero?" The same golden locks softly framing the porcelain face. A small smile bloomed from delicate lips.  
  
"Relena? Is it really you?" Heero was trembling. His hand tentatively reached out to touch her face, but stopped an inch away. What if this was an illusion? He didn't want it to end.  
  
"Heero?" Relena's melodious voice echoed loudly in the empty room.  
  
He touched her.  
  
His hand went through as if she was made of air.  
  
She disappeared as abruptly as she appeared.  
  
Heero screamed. He never ceased to rock violently back and forth as he clutched his head and whimpered softly.  
  
__________________________  
  
Duo  
  
I hear Heero's scream from the kitchen. If it was a year ago, I would be running to his room to check what made the perfect soldier loose his control. However, everything is different these days. Heero's screams could be frequently heard. It is heart-breaking really.  
  
We've all tried to break Heero's mask in different ways in the past and we knew that behind Heero's carefully concealed mask was a lost child. However, we didn't know he would be going mad without that damned mask. I guess what contributed the most to his break down was the event. Funny how we don't even dare to say what really happened anymore. At the beginning we would try to tell him the truth, but it hurt him too badly. In the end, we decided to call it the event to prevent Heero from screaming his head off. After a year, the words the event have become a part of our daily vocabulary and what trully happened forgotten on the sidelines of our brain.  
  
Heero's been getting worse. When he is more normal he would tell us about visions that were very real to him. We are all concerned about him. I feel like that he'll commit suicide anytime. I can't let him die. Nobody should die anymore. I won't let them.  
  
_____________________  
  
Two months later......  
  
In a hospital somewhere, four boys stood clustered in a small room. The afternoon sun shone brightly through the veiled window. The ghostly white of the wall played hide and seek with the dark shadows. The air was tense and depressing.  
  
Duo  
  
I can't stand this. This room, this place, everything. It's suffocating me. I wonder how Heero's doing.  
  
Quatre  
  
Heero's been in the examination lab for a long time now. I can't help but worry about him. His condition has gotten out of hand. We found him talking to air almost every day. Disllusion helps people from being hurt, but in Heero's case, it just hurts him more.  
  
Trowa  
  
Heero. How he changed during the past year. From the perfect soldier to the whimpering little child. His mask shattered and was left in million pieces on the ground. I hope he'll be alright. It's tearing us apart.  
  
Wufei  
  
Yuy. I've always found him a strong leader. But that onna broke him. Love weakened his will. I would have said he was weak and dishonorable, but really, he's not. I know how much it hurts. Meiran...  
  
The door opened to reveal two figures, both clad in white. The woman on the left spoke slowly and gravely.  
  
"Heero... has some problems."  
  
"Onna! Tell us what is wrong with him!" Wufei grunted irritated.  
  
"I have a name! Heero has a severe case of mental breakdown." Sally shot a glare towards Wufei. "Perhaps Dr. Simon here can make things a little clearer."  
  
All the eyes in the room were riveted on the figure to the right. A doctor in his mid-50's adjusted his glasses slightly.  
  
"Mr. Yuy has contracted a case of (what?? what?? *runs around tugging at her hair* I don't know . help?? ) . Does any of you have an idea of why he is like this?" The doctor asked in a monotous voice.  
  
"The event." Duo whispered. All of them knew, but dared not speak of it as anything else even if Heero's presence was absent.  
  
"The event?" Sally repeated with curiosity.  
  
"Yeah, the event a year ago...." Quatre answered softly.  
  
"What happened?" Sally asked burrowing her brows.  
  
Quatre tried to continue but couldn't. Soon he gave up and looked at Trowa.  
  
"A year ago when Relena died" Trowa replied with an unreadable face.  
  
"Relena?? Died??!!! I thought she disappeared!" Sally gasped as she took a step backwards.  
  
"She did disappear, but later when Heero found her, she died. Heero never told us how, when or where. We didn't ask." Duo said a little louder.  
  
"Did he..." Sally found her voice cracked and sizzilled. Clearing her throat and trying to surpress grieving tears, she asked, "Did he love her?"  
  
Four people stared at her in silence.  
  
"You're right. It was a silly question. I couldn't help it..." tears splashed down her face; crystal ones that sparkled in the light.  
  
Duo turned away and started pacing and muttering to himself.  
  
Quatre slipped a comforting arm around Sally's shaking shoulders.  
  
Trowa just stared at nothing in particular while Wufei cursed in chinese.  
  
"Is Heero..." Duo faced the doctor and slowly muttered, "dying?"  
  
The silence returned to the small room.  
  
"No, his condition is not so serious yet. He could still be saved." Dr. Simon seemed unaffected at all by the turns of events.  
  
Duo nodded and went back to pacing.  
  
_____  
  
Duo  
  
Heero's delusional huh? Surprising, surprising. I hate that doctor. I hate him. I hate her. I hate everyone. No, not true, but still, I can't help feeling this way. Heero's going insane. I feel like running off somewhere. You know, just to forget. I hate... I can hear Quatre's sobbing from here. I don't blame the kid, it's so hard to handle. Fucking Trowa doesn't even seem to care. Wufei's just being the jerk he is. I hate ... her. This is frustrating! I feel like I'm going mad myself. Heero, what happened to you??  
  
______  
  
Heero  
  
I think they led me to a hospital of some sort. They made me go through tests of all kinds. Nerve-racking. I'm sitting in a pale white room. Reminds me of her. Her purity and innocence. I rest my head on my knees. Time has no more meaning to me anymore. When I finally sit up, I see Relena.  
  
I scowl at her, "Go away! You're nothing but a ghost!"  
  
Again, that smile that lights up her face. Her features soften as she pulls closer to me.  
  
Maybe this time, she is real. I hold my breath.  
  
She closes her eyes as her face inches forward.  
  
Maybe I can...  
  
She disappers like a puff of smoke.  
  
AHHH!!! I let out an angered scream.  
  
NO! NO! NO!  
  
You're not supposed to disappear! You're supposed to stay! With me! You promised to help me! No!  
  
I kick the wall, the paint is shaken off and cracks appear.  
  
I easily flip over the bed and knock everything off the counter.  
  
NO!  
  
Come back!  
  
My fist hurts from so much punching, but I embrace it.  
  
Anything to forget this nightmare.  
  
I hear footsteps approaching. Instantly, I try to reach for the gun, but instead finding only empty space.  
  
I see nurses in white. A straight jacket. They think I'm insane??  
  
Yeah, maybe they're right.  
  
I have long forgotten the boundaries between right, wrong, sane and insane.  
  
I don't struggle as they pin me down.  
  
I feel a niddle prick. Moaning slightly, I welcome blackness with open arms.  
  
_______  
  
Quatre  
  
Duo's exploding. I can feel it. He is maintaining his usual cheerfulness but I know it's all fake. He's isolating himself from the rest of us. I think he ... doen't like Trowa and Wufei because they are not showing their worry. Yet they're just as worried. I can see sadness in Trowa's eyes and Wufei spends much more time meditating. The doctor, I think Simon is his name, phoned. He said Heero became violent the other day. He thinks Heero's running out of time. When Duo heard of it, he ran out of the house. It was raining hard. He still isn't back yet. I'm worried about him. Hopefully he didn't do anything stupid.  
  
_______  
  
Hilde  
  
It was midnight when Duo came to my house. He was drunk, I could tell. Drunk and soaking wet. I didn't ask why or how. I let him in and dried him off. He was struggling and muttering wildly. Occasionally, I could catch a "I hate them" or "why?" between his incohensive monologue. When I stripped him down to his boxers, he gripped my shoulders. Through dazed eyes he stared at me and asked, "Heero?" but let go when he realized that I wasn't Heero. It hurts. I'll not lie, it broke my heart. I knew he didn't love me, but I kept hoping. This was final. We made love. He needed it, I know. I don't regret this, even if it was just a night and nothing more. Of course, I want more, but I'll be satisfied to have just this night. I woke up late in the morning. He was already gone. No goodbyes, no notes. I was prepared, but it hurt just the same. I hugged the pillow and inhaled his scent. I only realized that I was crying when I tried rubbing my eyes. I miss you, Duo... and I love you. Can you hear me?  
  
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TBC...  
  
  
  
Reviews?? I kinda need some help... *sits around pouting* 


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